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May 30, 2005


Bryan Kerwick


You are really starting to piss off your brothers from Wisconsin.

We know you hated this job. We also have video's of your antics.

Aside from the Sorierty Raid that your friends hold dear, quit the bullshit and get with the program. Al-Jezerra would love to besmirtch you. We just want you to live another day.

Do what you do best. Get in a truck and fix peoples eyesight. You were very good at that. You suck at being King. Quit that job and do what you do best. Your people will love you for it. Your American Brothers won't have a reason to kill you because of it.

Politics is really not your strong suit. Medical Science is. Help your people the best way you know how.

King Lion the Ist didn't ship you off to my house for no reason. Don't screw up his plans. Help your folks as best you can and let them do the rest. We will help you back.



Bryan Kerwick

An open letter to Bashir:

I have openly criticised your ability to do a job you are neither trained for nor have the stomach to do. This is your wake-up call.

You are in a situation which is neither of your making or preference but it is yours alone to deal with. It may be good to be king but heavy is the head that wears the crown.

You have many friends that are hoping for the best. They also are the same folks that will inflict the worst. In the 90's, you had the best time of your life cavorting with people who liked you for you and not because you were King Lion 1st son.You were vibrant and happy because you had ideals that were not available to you in your homeland. You actually got into a heated argument with the Lion King when your presence was requested at home. Actually it was a demand but that's how life was in Syria. You and you alone have the opportunity and ability to change that. How great you are in history is up to you. Another unique American idea. Be like George and do the right thing ON PRINCIPLE.
I realize that is a novel idea but it's a good one.
Just imagine the power in the word no. No to the fact the people in Syria are hungry. No to the fact the people in Syria are fearful. No to the fact the people in Syria are freightened of each other.No to the fact that Syrian people are afraid of their own government. No to the fact that people in Syria are second clas citizens. No to the fact that you are married to the fate of Iranian Mullahs.

Bashir, you are better than that and you know it. Quit being the lackey of the regime. You have the power to stop this. Just say no! Nancy would be proud of you.

The Badgers would be proud of you. Do what you do best. Help those less fortunate than you. It's a shitty job but it is also a fullfiling one. Just imagine how good it makes you feel to give a little girl the chance to see how pretty the spring flowers are.Just imagine how good it feels to help an old man see his village, even for the last time. Just imagine how great it would be to actually talk to someone without the trappings of your status. You actually had that once when you were just a college kid.
Your dad was a bastard. That was his job. He also was a kind, benovelent soul that sent you to school here and not Saudi Arabia.
He had the means to give you an education anywhere in the world. Why do you think it was in Wisconsin? A blue state that had no axe to grind with the Arab world.Actually Arkansas would have been the same.You had the ability to go anywhere and do just about anything so long as you didn't cause harm to others. Why shouldn't your constituants have the same rights? Your father sent you to us for a reason. Let's hope it was a noble one. DO THE RIGHT THING! Your popularity and power will grow exponentially if you just give it up. Imagine how wonderful it would be if you gave the gift you got from your Dad to the people in Syria! They love you Bashir. Give them a reason to respect you for time eternal. Give the gift of sight to those who need it most. Go to the towns that have no doctors and do what your father trained you for. Give hope to your people. While you're at it, tell them of panty raids, keg parties and FREEDOM. Inside of you is greatness. Let it come out. The people need a hero to rally around. Just be an ordinary guy who gives a shit. They have been waiting for you for a long time. Just be you. The guy you have been trained to be and not the tyrant you have become.

P.S - tell them about barbaque too. Brats and beer should be your battle cry. Sorry I'm still drunk. It's my memorial day. Make the next one yours.


"you have to tell the difference between describing a phenomenon and endorsing it"

That's just the problem. I can.

"What I want and what I advocate is a change in mentality"

So do most. And it will only come when the rage-merchants stop trying to manipulate people.


"Unfortunately though, I feel that an old-style mayhem is imposing itself upon us on account of deficient leadership skills and vision and endemic corruption on part of both regimes and opposition groups"

Agreed. Which is why I make a point of routinely condemning flames and blades.

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