Turning Point!

I am not of the Crowd. I don’t even look the same anymore. I thought to myself as I walked along the sinewy pathways of Tishreen Park.

But my family was with me, walking right there beside me, Khawla, Ola and Mouhannad, they were there too looking and feeling as different as I do. I am definitely not alone anymore and I do have something now that I can and do belong to.

My son, Mouhannad, blames me for my dissident (or should I say dissonant?) activities, because they tend to endanger me (and as such us), and for what?, he asks. Most people here wouldn’t even like me (or us) or what I (we) represent.

He’s right, of course.

But what choices do I really have? Do I shake my head in a sign of sorrow and let a sad smile paints itself on my face and murmur some apologetic words regarding the foolishness of the human race? I am not that old yet. I don’t know if I will ever be that old.

Staying here, my wife says, you most probably won’t live to be that old.

She’s right, of course.

Pouting Ola is right too.

Everyone’s right these days. Perhaps even me.

But it is probably about time for me to be right differently. There are other ways of doing the right thing, and other places.

Indeed.

Comments

[Catherine]

I don't mean to sound mean or any thiung, I understand that it must be very hard, but: you are not the only one in whole Syria who wants change and truly beleive in democracy, you might be more liberal than most (not all), and maybe most are more leftists..But yet you are not alone to do something, or say something..for the sake of freedom.
There have been intellectuals, poets, writers, lawyers, and many others who hae paid a very..Very..high price just for showing their opinion. About what most people think and if they support your ideas or not, I, personally..Think it's too hard to know what the majority want..I don't think they are satisfied, but you know it's hard to know what and who they support in a silent scared country!
Of course that does not mean that you should not take care of your self and family, and Lebanon is indeed close and more free. So why not? You most certainley won't be the first one. Take care.

[annie]

Catherine is right Ammar; you are not the only one but you are probably more lonely than many because you have come forward and made your vieuws public thereby sticking out like a sore thumb.

A "silent scared country" indeed. I watched on Friday as a truckload of policemen came to an illegal souk and took away trays of vegetables and fruit from vendors too poor to rent a space. They left with a full truck.

What struck me most is that the vendors scrammed to protect their goods or just stood by and so did the customers; all this was done without creating a protest of any sort.

I was told that this is a frequent scene and people find it normal.

[annie]

I wish to qualify the previous comment; I asked Ammar to withdraw it but he may be out.

When the IRS went to confiscate people's property for back taxes,
they did not behave otherwise than the above policemen. They would take everything in your house,
whereas here the authorities take what they can.

Does not mean the Syrian system could not use an update, but then, this is the business of Syrians.

[Brian H]

Amarji;
Your world-wide fame as a Syrian dissident blogger is probably your greatest source of both danger and protection. Every tyranny fears both its own people and the outside world, and you speak to both, and for both.

But it is certainly obvious why your family is very nervous about being "hostages to fate" in this situation, and why you agonize about putting them in that position.

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